I went back and forth in my mind about how I wanted to approach writing this post, because I believe this is a topic that is so important to give a voice to, but can be difficult to talk, write and think about. So I hope and pray the words are bold, worthy and meaningful for myself and for those who happen to read this little blog of mine.
Body bondage is quite real, and I know most girls & women struggle with this on a day-to-day or even minute-by-minute basis, including myself. I've struggled personally with body bondage and some years have been harder than others. I used to dance pretty very seriously , and I remember very clearly the terrible thoughts that plagued my 16 year old head as I stared at myself in a leotard and tights in those wall-to-wall dance studio mirrors. Dance is all about perfection, so naturally (or unnaturally), my mind was conditioned to accept nothing less than a perfect physique.
Except, the idea of a perfect physique can quickly become all-comsuimg and all-encompassing. It becomes all you think about, obsess about, self-degrade about. And pretty soon, you're captive in your own mind obsessing about achieving a personal ideal of bodily perfection, and you lose some parts of yourself along the way.
The major problem with body bondage is that once you're bound to it, it follows you through different stages of life. I quit dance by my senior year of high school, but just because I wasn't staring at myself in a leotard anymore doesn't mean I was suddenly free from being extremely conscious about what I ate, how much I ate, when I could work it off and the number on the scale that somehow becomes definitive of self worth. It followed me through college, through my first apartment, through my first relationships, and even up to my marriage.
But what I want to clarify is that having discipline about maintaining a healthy body and lifestyle does not mean that body bondage has it's hold over you. Recognizing what it means to have a real and substantial healthy lifestyle was my major breakthrough from slipping back into believing that the perfect physique = happiness and success.
There are already a million articles, blog posts, TV shows, self-help books, etc, that map out the meaning of a healthy lifestyle, and it is not my desire to reiterate what is already very prominent in our world and social media. I want to share my personal adjustments I've made in my life as a woman who has struggled with body bondage for the greater part of my adolescent and adult life.
1. I adopted this motto: strong is the new skinny. I stopped working out to simply try and burn off calories or Not Your Average Joe's garlic bread. I run and work out to keep my body able, to make me feel like I'm actually conditioning my muscles, to feel active, to keep my mind at peace and lastly, for that AMAZING post workout feeling (which feels something like: "I just walked uphill for 40 minutes, i'm sweating like crazy, and I rock)
2. I said sayonara to salt. My husband will laugh at this because I still do eat salt (I love pickles) and will occasionally put a little bit too much on cooking noodles. But the problem with salt is that I felt the effects very shortly after eating it (Sometimes after a pickle binge I would actually bloat so much I would look 3 months pregnant!) and realized I would be doing myself and my body a favor if I simply cut down on it.
3. I started cooking more and stopped eating out at almost every opportunity. By cooking our own meals, we control what goes in it.
4. I started treating my body the way God designed it to be. We all know that God desires for his children to treat our bodies as a temple, which is quite literally easier said than done. And I didn't really understand the magnitude of this until I was a young women and finding myself feeling guilty over consuming "unsafe" food.
5. I learned to adopt an active lifestyle. This helps, because Dan is very active as well. We like to hike, walk, ride bikes, swim, etc. The couple who is active together stays together ;-)
Women & men, our bodies are the only ones we have. If we continue to abuse them, it has drastic effects on not only our bodies but our hearts and our relationship with the Lord. He doesn't want us to feel on edge over calorie consumption and he doesn't want us to freak out over eating a cupcake we promised ourselves we would skip. He doesn't desire for us to spend hours on the treadmill attempting to burn off the contents of our day's nutrients. Because soon enough, while we were trying to achieve the idea of a perfect body, we quickly replaced our relationship with Him with a relationship with food and ourselves. And then where are we?
So my personal solution as someone who very openly and admittedly felt very pressured by achieving a thin and perfect physique is realizing that, quite simply, to replace bodily bondage with treating my body as a vessel of strength.
I eat good, healthy and substantial food to fuel my mind and strengthen my body.
I work out to maintain stress, peace of mind and to feel that awesome feeling of muscles working double time.
I look in the mirror and see an strong woman with a healthy sense of self, a healthy physique and a desire to someday I deeply aspire instill this same mindset in my own children.
